How I behave when I am in love

Hello. Hi. Namaskar.

This article, as the name suggests, consists of all those things people do when they are love-struck. I am sure many of you will find it relatable. Take pleasure in the fact that you are not the only one who does all this young love-struck dramatic shit. For convenience I have written the article as if it is happening to me. Step into my shoes and imagine yourself as the one we are talking about.

#Stage 1- Mere sapnon ke raaja, kab aaoge tum?

(My dear prince, when will you come?)

This stage consists of basically believing in 80% fake romance novels and movies and then waiting for my prince charming to come and take me for a world tour in his sexy antique car. (A white horse would be too outdated. Also, cycle chalaane waala nahi chahiye mujhe.)

(I don’t want a guy who rides a bicycle)

I will glance outside my window and imagine scenarios in which I will be romancing a very handsome person. Then, eventually after I realise that I am still very much single, I will stop thinking about it and state very frankly that, ” Love is not meant for me”. If none of you have heard/said this shit, you are lying to me, bro.

I hate liars, Pushpa…

*Tries to imitate Srk, fails and then bangs head against the wall*

#Stage 2 – The invasion

At that point of my life when I am extremely focused on all my priorities and very busy, achanak se ek gadha mere life mien aayega. And the irony is, ki mujhe usse pyaar ho jayega.

#Stage 3- Kuch kuch hota hai

In this stage, I will be getting acquainted with that guy. Whats App will become a daily ritual. (Postal service fast hota toh old times ki tarah letters likh ke bhejh deti.#classicloveletters)

(If the postal service was fast, I would’ve used that)

My day will start with the thought of him and it will end with the thought of him. In short, mansik santulan hilna chaalu ho chuka hai iss stage mien.
*Pretends to be a doc while saying this*

(My brain will go haywire)

I will wait for Mr Donkey’s texts 24/7. Aur jab text finally aayega, mera dil butterfly ki tarah khushi ki vajah se khidki ke bahar udd jayega.

(When a text will arrive from him, my happy heart will fly out like a butterfly through the window!)

Iss dil ka kya karu..mein kya karun??

Thoda frustration bhi aa jayega ki mujhe isse baat karne ki aadat padh gayi hai.

(What do I do about my heart? I wil feel a little upset about the fact that I am getting used to talk to him)

#Stage 4- Yeh mera dil….pyaar ka diwaana

(Stage 4-My heart is fond of love)

Chatting has become a fixed part of our routines. Now everything that will happen around me will make me feel like it is God’s not-so-secret conspiracy. I will be able to relate to every damn love song, which in a normal situation would have made me roll me eyes and puke.And then I will imagine me and my bae in every movie I will watch in the theatre.

Bang Bang mein Katrina aur Hrithik nahi, mein aur Mr Donkey dikhai denge.

Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pam paaaraa…

Every time someone will mention Mr Donkey’s name, meta dil summersaults karega.(My heart will do summersaults every time someone will say his name)

Dil mein laddu footenge. Ek nahi, do nahi, teen nahi, chaar. Foote toh footenge, ek saath Hazaar.

(My heart will jump with joy)

(Arre waah! Yeh toh mini poem ho gayi!! * Gets up and pulls up imaginary collar and then pretends to be silencing an applauding crowd*)

#Stage 5-The blushing phase

I will lose control over that part of my body which controls my brain (Don’t ask me the name of that part. I have forgotten biology).

Every time his name might be mentioned or every time I will remember our conversation, GAME OVER. My cheeks will turn red. Unnecessary unwanted reflex action. And the worst part is that I will try to control it in front of my friends who will coincidentally try to bring up that guy’s name somehow in the topic.

Par iss stage mien abh, uska naam Mr Donkey se Mr Shona mein badal jayega.

(In this stage, I’ll start calling him Honey instead of Mr Donkey)

With that, I will have lost total control over my brain and heart.
But it is not my fault…
Because..
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Dil toh bachcha hai ji….

(My heart is a kid)
Stage 6 and onwards- Kar de mushkil jeena…ishq kameena…
(Love will make my life hard)
Disclaimer: Galti se bhi Sanika Pandit ko koi bhi call karke nahi poochega ki usse pyaar ho gaya hai kya. Think before you do so. Uske guns ready hai.

That’s all folks.

Stay tuned for more.

Lots of love.